Boldface Names

Assimilation has begun in earnest. Last night I partied with Paris and Nicky Hilton.

Let me rephrase that.

Last night I was AT a party with Paris and Nicky Hilton. For the record, Paris was dressed completely in leopard print. (Attention PETA - I think it was still breathing)

Don't mind me if I end the Hilton sister references there, because my attention at the party was distracted by a gaggle of models having dinner behind me who kept making a racket. They were noisy, kept bumping into our chairs, and insisted on clapping when Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy walked by. I kid you not.

The view of Madonna kept getting obscured by Robbie Williams, dressed in a cravat, because he insisted on standing up in the middle of the dining room and talking in an extremely loud voice. I think that may have irritated Sienna Miller, but Kiera Knightly didn't seem to mind.

I got a better view of Madonna when Guy Ritchie was standing next to me at the bar. Boy, is she tiny. Definitely shorter than I am.

I made small talk later that night with some guy named Duncan, from a UK based boyband called 'Blu.' He was very polite, pretending not to be annoyed when my companions and I had no idea who he was.

All of this took place at the Soho House LA, which is a rented palace at the top of the Hollywood Hills. Quote a view, but some of the rooms hadn't been redecorated in a while. The screening room has red shag pile carpet everywhere. How 1981. While wandering around I interrupted some UK TV star who was putting the moves on some blonde I didn't recognize. Oh well.

The view from the house was amazing. I think Helena Christensen seemed to enjoy it, as I believe that's what she told Jamie Oliver ('the naked chef') and Eliza Dushku.

I left around 12.30am. The Hilton sisters fled before me, but I think the evening was just getting started. Too bad I had a 9am budget meeting....

All of this is 100% true.

Welcome to LA....