JetBleh

"Lady, stop treating my $3,000 dollar suit like it was a piece of garbage!"

So sayeth the bloated tool in the seat next to me on this morning's flight from NY to CA. The flight attendant was just trying to make room in the overhead bins where this, ahem, gentleman had lain his oh so riche coat down for a little nap.

Some observations:
- it was a blue suit with purple pinstripes. Me thinks he could have found the same thing for 90% less at the Men's Wearhouse. (He's gonna like the way he looks!)
- only a true jacka$$ would declare the price of his item in public like that
- the flight attendant was pretty snappish with him in return. As she walked away, he mouthed lots of foul things at her back. I was so hoping for a TSA-fueled showdown...but it was not to be.

Generally speaking, domestic plane flights are not much more than a Greyhound bus with wings. But I have a few suggestions to help improve the atmosphere:

First, if you're a hasidic guy bringing 2 hatboxes on board, next time have them shipped - if you live in CA but had to buy them in NY, you can afford the postage and the waiting time.

Next, if you're a petite lady with a small bladder, request an aisle seat. Your lack of a view is probably less important than my desire to get more than 20 minutes of shut-eye before having you tap on my shoulder. Jeez, the 8-year-old in between us chugging Gatorade had to go fewer times than you...

Finally, bring your own food. I bought a yougurt and a small cup of coffee at the airport for $6. Six bucks! That's more money than the real mother of Brad Pitt's kid makes in a year!

M